THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS — An Emilio Graves Poem of Violence

You know the classic children's poem 'Twas The Night Before Christmas?

This is that, except but instead of it being about Santa Claus delivering Christmas presents to a house, it's about action hero Emilio Graves taking down a cabal of evil elves who have been secretly using Santa Claus's gift delivery pipeline to distribute heroin across America. It rhymes and everything. It's so dumb. I love it.

Also: it is not for children. This is a children's poem that is not for children. Don't let them listen to it.

Book Length: 15 pages

Audiobook Length: 9 minutes