A thing that makes me happy is that I can email all of you out of nowhere, tell you that I have a new project coming out, refuse to give you any details about it, and you all still, no questions asked and no hesitations about you, preorder the thing. It’s really, really great.

It’s like in The Town when Ben Affleck walks into Jeremy Renner’s apartment and says to him, “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.” What Jeremy Renner should’ve done right there is he shoulder scrunched his face up and been like, “What? Fuck you, dude. Tell me what it is and then I’ll tell you if I’m doing it or not.” Because that's a reasonable response in that scenario.

But that's not and then Jeremy Renner did.

Because Jeremy Renner was not a reasonable person in The Town.

What Jeremy Renner did is he thought about what had just been asked of him for a second, came to a decision, and then, completely unconcerned with the stakes of the situation, looked at Ben Affleck and said, “Whose car are we gonna take?”

That's you all.

You’re Jeremy Renner in The Town, which is pretty much the best possible thing someone can be.

I’m gonna share here soon exactly what the new project is—I’ll give you all a plot synopsis, and show you the cover, and tell you the tagline, and all that. But that’ll probably be in another week or so. Right now, there's nothing. There's no information. There's just me, standing in your doorway, looking very handsome, petitioning you with an unreasonable request:

The new project comes out on September 12th. Click here to preorder it today.

Come be the Jeremy Renner to my Ben Affleck.

Let's go cause some trouble together.

Thanks.

-shea

p.s. For the sake of this comparison, please ignore the fact that Jeremy Renner gets shot to death at the end of the movie. Don’t worry about that part. Just ignore it. Thanks.

1 comment

Dealing Heroin Is Not Easy

The Free Hoodies Are Back

The Greatest Possible Day

Yes They Deserve To Die And I Hope They Burn In Hell

You Accidentally Did A Good Thing Again, You Dorks

See all posts from Shea Serrano